I think we have all had a moment where we felt alone in a crowded room.

A recent survey from the Center on American Life revealed that 17% of Americans 

claim to have zero friends — a statistic that left me stunned. For perspective, in 1990, only 1% of the US considered themselves friendless. Revelations like this have opened broader studies on how we spend our time. And it seems many of us are spending it more alone than ever. 

While solitude can be wonderful, especially at the pace of life today, the rise in isolation — no doubt heightened by the Covid pandemic, working from home and other online 

distractions — should concern us all. Nobody should ever have to look too far to find a friend in this village.

We all need places for social interaction. These spaces are vital not just for individual well-being but for the health of our community. They provide opportunities to connect on a personal level, share ideas, and participate in civic life — essentials for a functioning society.

In 1989, American sociologist Ray Oldenburg published a book outlining the concept of the “third place,” a space outside of home (the first place) and work (the second place). These are venues for informal, free social interaction with friends. Think of the local pub from the sitcom “Cheers” or the Central Perk coffee house from “Friends.” 

Oldenburg argued, “What suburbia cries for are the means for people to gather easily, inexpensively, regularly, and pleasurably — a ‘place on the corner.’”

These third places offer a refuge where someone knows your name when you walk in. They are where you can celebrate your ups, share your downs, or simply enjoy a moment without the urgencies of work or the piles of laundry left to fold.

Even in 1989, when Oldenburg published his book, the idea wasn’t new. From the tea houses of ancient China to the bustling cafés of Paris, great societies have always had spaces for enjoyable mingling. Today, as we navigate a world increasingly dominated by screens, the need for such places is even more crucial.

It doesn’t have to be a bar. In 1925, in the midst of the Prohibition, Ole Hanson put 

communal venues first in this town, building beautiful spaces for us to find a “healthy joy out of life.” He created a world-class social club, a downtown restaurant, a central church with a public plaza, an oceanfront public pool, a golf course, and three miles of our own public beaches.

If you need to, get out and get involved. Hopefully you’ll meet some of the wonderful people who have made this town into the special community that it is.

And with that, I’m headed out to my own third place.